Dear Rachel,

You are a complete dumbass. Here is a summary of your day as proof:

(NOTE: All “You / Me / I”’s = Rachel)

Well, since you stepped on those headphones last week, I decided to buy another $30 set the other day. What? Where are they now? Oh that’s right, you lost them, again. Apparently, God has decided that it can not be in your cards to have a set of headphones. I am too scared to buy a fifth pair only to be certain of this theory.

Secondly, remember how you got a ticket last week for underfeeding the parking meter? Well in order to avoid this, I changed $5 of quarters at Target today. This is what happened next:

1) You parked in the parking garage (which has meters, P.S. I agree that it is quite odd.)
2) You hopped out of my car
3) You skipped off to class

Yes, you forgot to feed the meter completely. And of course, when I am driving off, I spot a slip of paper rolled up under my windshield wiper. Yes, I got another parking ticket.

But wait– what? I’m not even certain that the slip is even a ticket (It is.)– since your arms were too short to reach the ticket in the middle of my windshield.

I won’t even begin on how much of a failure you feel like today. How is it possible to almost exactly replicate your weak day from last week? But instead of rolling down a hill, yes, you should most certainly walk into a lake-sized puddle (I did).

Bring your A-game next Tuesday. No more of this. Man up.

With Mediocre Feelings,

More-Sensible Rachel

P.S. Reader, I am not like Nikki / Jessica from Heroes and do not have more than one personality. I do not otherwise know how to admit to my impossible dumbassery.

Hi Reader,

I had a pretty weak day today. Here is a brief summary of what happened:

I slipped down an ice-coated hill and tripped on the steps to the College of Business. I cracked my iPhone head-set by stepping on it outside of my car. Also, I got a parking ticket at 9:10pm (when no one is on campus, PS) for underfeeding my meter by 35 minutes. Deserved, but still.

Anyhow, I have decided to create a list of my strengths and weaknesses as a mediocre ego-boost.

Weaknesses:

- Evidently, walking
- Being a Death-Trap Magnet
- Being disheveled
- Procrastinating
- Having low partying skill-levels (especially after 8 months of working, might I add. If I was weak before, I’m far below that now.)
- Having unreasonably high expectations
- Losing my BFF bracelet 3 times (but since we are BF Forever, under no circumstance can he disown me.)
- Not being able to Bow-Hunt from a tree (yet)
- Being a collegiate traitor
- Dropping things
- Parallel parking

Strengths:

- Knitting
- Asking questions
- Talking
- Spending money
- Blow-drying my hair
- Watching The Office
- Moving to new places
- Wearing Camo
- Being mediocre at ice-skating
- Being friendly
- Walking around Target
- Buying shoes
- Thinking that everything is funny
- Having pure intentions
- Ordering at Chipotle (<- seriously)

That is all that I can think of at the moment, and I know this is all completely riveting, so thanks for getting this far, Reader.

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. Perhaps my truest strength is throwing down the peace sign.

New Blog design…

It feels weird.

More to come later…

LOVE,

Rachel

Yes, Reader, I am so clever with words, indeed.

In the unlikely scenario that you have not been diligently following my blog, my internship with IBM in Minnesota is near its end, as I have less than a month before returning to full-time student-ship. I have been searching for the end since I started my internship in May, which may sound like I have not enjoyed my time here, but on the contrary, the time that I have spent here has possibly been the best experience of my life. This post (and its sequel) will give a brief synopsis of my seven (almost eight) month journey in Rochester, Minnesota.

……………………………………..

With the exception of becoming a princess, winning a job with IBM was my most unlikely dream to be realized. In the past nine months, I have made at least five life-changing decisions, and the first (1), and best decision was accepting this job. And even though I did not fully understand what I was getting myself into, I tried to welcome the foreign experience with open arms and an open mind.

I took my chances on a random roommate, Ashley, a move which turned out to be the second (2) best decision I have made. Moving to Minnesota left me on completely foreign turf with no one and no where even remotely familiar. I spent my first four days alone, wandering around Target, and lapping the Rochester Mall. I had been warned that finding a random roommate could be disastrous, and when I first learned more about Ashley– well– we had literally nothing in common except for being the same gender and having similar hair-lengths.

I do not exaggerate when I say that we had nothing in common, as our differences were more significant than, “She likes blue, and I like pink” or “She plays the flute and I played the violin,” but our similarities were so few and far between, the beginning did not seem even remotely promising. Reader, I’ll spare you the romantic details, and since this is my second best decision, I’m sure you are sharp enough to realize it had a positive outcome.

Despite our extremely vast differences from every possible angle on the surface, from sheer natural appearance and personal fashion to the blazing differences in our personalities, it soon became clear that we had a lot more in common than either of us could have suspected (that was a solid book-cover line right there!). It turns out that beneath (pretty far down) our social facades, we have remarkably similar core principles.

Ashley has been a fantastic roommate, and grown to be a truly phenomenal friend, for which I will never forget. In a completely non-romantic way, it has been so personally inspirational to find myself in someone so blatantly different from me. This blog is already sounding like a love ballad to Ashley, but she was the most imperative ingredient in my positive journey these past eight months.

To be continued….
………………………………………………….

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. I know I said this would be “Brief”– but my internship was 7 months long, what did you expect? Also, I will try to not make the sequel so gushy. Thanks for doing your job, Reader!

Dear Reader,

Through ice skating in MN, I have learned that though there are no mediocre ice skaters in this state, there are two main categories of people:

1) Advanced figure skaters and hockey players. Even the most unassuming characters are phenomenally excellent at ice skating here, and I have learned better than to assume anyone is just mediocre at skating.

2) Children still in the womb.

Yes, Reader. I, too, wish I were exaggerating, but I kid you not. As soon as children are old enough to be standing vertically in Minnesota, it seems that there are ice skates immediately strapped to their miniature feet. There was this tiny little kid, about 2 years old who could barely talk, had comparable skating abilities to yours-truly. And I will have you know that I’ve been practicing. Yeah, these MN kids are hardcore.

It is safe to assume that every single person in Minnesota is able to skate on ice. Seriously, everyone. Another lesson learned.

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. I carved a pumpkin today. Yeah, so cool, I know.

Yes, Reader. I (more or less) scaled this very large hill in Minnesota today. I was able to utilize my rugged abilities and hike on unpaved mountainous non-trails around a bluff (small mountain / large hill). Here are only a few of the misconceptions I had about hiking:

Pre-Hiking Misconception #1: “Hiking is going to be leisure strolling on a paved road with manicured trees on either side.”
Truth: Hiking is intentionally getting lost in the wilderness and then having to find the way back to your car.

Pre-Hiking Misconception #2: “People only walk on flat land.”
Truth: False. This experience was the exact opposite of walking on flat land. I have biffed it down a flight of carpeted stairs at my apartment. I am grateful to have made it out of this hiking trip alive (and, might I add, with no injuries.) In case you were wondering, there are very, very large hills in MN.

Pre-Hiking Misconception #3: “I am hardcore.”
Truth: I am hardcore. But only more so now. Yeah, that’s right. What now.

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. Just in case you were wondering, after our rugged hiking experience, Ashley and I found an apple orchard and bought farm-fresh apples, apple cider, caramel apples, and pumpkins. Yeah, that’s right. I’m going to take a knife to a 14lb pumpkin tomorrow. Stay tuned.

“Hey, I had a really good time tonight, can I get your number?”

“Just Google me.”

Reader, I truly hope that I can use this line that I stole from a book* in the near future. Except, there is just one minor (or extremely massive) problem:

I AM NO LONGER FIRST FIND WHEN YOU GOOGLE, “RACHEL LEONG.”

Who on earth is “Rachel Leong Jia Xuan”? And her public Facebook page beat out www.rachelleong.com? I have seriously weak sauce.

Reader, I will try to strengthen my sauce by updating on a more semi-regular basis.

LOVE,

Rachel

* From The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine

Hi Reader,

I had a list of smart-ass comments about my Kickboxing class today, but decided against it. This is the Cliff-Notes version of what happened:

I went to Kickboxing class.
I was sandwiched by high school girls. And their moms.
I found out that High School girls love me.
I listened to how similar Kickboxing is to Gym class.
I heard about locker gossip.
And then I did 30 push-ups.

For the first time since living in Rochester, I legitimately felt old.

I am going to be very sore tomorrow.

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. TGIANIHS. Try to figure that one out, Reader. I am so clever.

This is a Q&A session where naive Pre-Minnesota Rachel asks experienced Current Rachel questions about things Current Rachel has learned from her life in Minnesota thus far.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “Gosh, I wish I could find more hunting equipment than I could ever imagine. Is there such a place?”
A: Yes. However, while Gander Mountain is the Walmart of hunting goods, Fleet Farm is the Costco of manliness. I would know because I have become so rugged.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “I have met many people who are getting married. Why are you not yet engaged?”
A: Well, Pre-Minnesota Rachel, apparently marriage-ability and your ability to cook are directly correlated. Can you cook? Exactly. That is probably why.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “What is a ‘Dauber?’”
A: A Dauber is a massive marker-like utensil for dotting numbers at a Bingo Hall. Could also be used for writing on large pieces of paper.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “How big is a cow?”
A: Though it varies, cows are approximately the size of a small truck, or a large sedan.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “Does Camo Duct-tape exist?”
A: Yes. It is intensely useful. Naive Pre-Minnesota Rachel, you will win a roll of Camo Duct-Tape from a co-worker in the future.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “I wish the seats of my boat would blend in with the forest. Where can I purchase a camo boat-seat cover?”
A: Too easy. Fleet Farm.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “What is a State Fair?”
A: A state fair is a fair that has a bunch of food and things in it. A bajillion people, including, but not limited to, The Backstreet Boys, attend.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “What is a Comedy Club?”
A: A very politically incorrect place.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “What happens when you get your oil changed?”
A: You bring your car to the Toyota Dealership (or other place that changes oil) and they give you a buzzer that flashes when your car is ready.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: “I’ve been looking for a Palace made out of corn. Does such a thing exist?”
A: Yes. It is located in South Dakota.

Pre-Minnesota Rachel: Wow, I would have never imagined to have learned all of this useful information just by living in Minnesota. Gosh, you are so knowledgeable now.”

Yes. Yes, I know. Someday, Pre-Minnesota Rachel, you will be just as smart as me. No, seriously. You will be.

Anyhow, thanks for getting so far into this blog, Reader. You are such a trooper!

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. Reader, I have to bring in Breakfast for my dept on Thursday– what should I bring!? Help, please!

Hi Reader!

Here are my current thoughts:

I am going to miss this experience when it is over. I am going to miss Ashley (my roommate), playing Bingo, living < 1 Mile from IBM and Target, and will even miss going to work. I will also miss my cute APT, being recognized at the Toyota Dealership, and not having to do homework.

I am going to miss this, F’sho. Good thing I still have another 3+ months to go. Barely halfway done…

Anyhow, I am going to start volunteering tomorrow at an “Assisted Living Facility” visiting and doing crafts with an elderly lady. I am extremely nervous, and terribly worried that it is going to be horrible. Any advice? If so, please comment before 10am today :). Thanks.

When I think of a good story, Reader, you will be the first to know. Sorry for this weak entry– I just felt like I needed to update :).

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. I have the freshest Camo Hat. Seriously, I feel like a Rockstar.