Hello Reader,

I wrote the following in my iPhone “notepad” during my flight this morning. Please enjoy, while I go to sleep immediately.

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3:05 est. August 30, 2011

Dear Guy sitting next to me on my 6 hour, red-eye, cross-country flight to Philadelphia,

I am going to karate chop you after our flight lands, and this is why.

1. You are one of 2 people on a 200 person flight who insists on leaving their spot light on during Rachel’s mandatory sleeping time. While this usually isn’t an issue, I am literally blinded, and this is preventing me from sleeping. I need an eye mask. Or for you to kindly turn off your light.

2. Additionally, you have insisted on keeping your air vent on the “tornado” setting- and it is ricocheting off of your book and into my ear / hair. Not an ideal sleeping situation for Rachel.

3. You just sneezed on me. Omg.

4. You are hogging up our “shared” arm rest, plus about 3 inches of the prime real estate that is my chair. You are lucky that I am travel-sized and that I don’t require the extra arm-space. I am less than happy with you, at the moment.

5. Dinosaur breath. I would really like a surgical mask, in addition to my eye mask.

In conclusion, I am not very pleased with you. Please turn off your light and pop a breath mint- or close your mouth. At the very minimum, please, please, do not sneeze on me again.

Thank you.

- Rachel.

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Side note: This guy actually stole my extra chocolate while I was “sleeping”- or trying to. Who does that? I do not approve.