Oh Hi, Reader–

It’s me again. As you may have guessed from the clever title of this entry, I am sick. Here are some answers to the hypothetical questions you may (should) have:

How did you get sick?
My co-worker, despite being sick, decided to stay at work and thus contaminated me by sneezing, coughing, and breathing on me multiple times over the course of a week. I may or may not have plans to beat him up when I recover.

What kinds of symptoms do you have?
A high of 102.7 degree fever, coughing, sneezing, loss of voice, and overall congestion. However, not to worry, I have been medicating myself with DayQuil and NyQuil, when appropriate.

Are you just laying in bed watching TV all day?
Yes. I just subscribed to NetFlix for the sole purpose of entertainment while I am sick. However, it is surprisingly difficult to sift through the terrible movies and find the small handful of movies I find acceptable.

On a related note, some of these chick-flicks are embarrassingly intolerable. Just watched “Dear John”– and I would liken the experience to watching a sidewalk crack for the first hour, and in the last half hour, an ant saves the day by crawling out of the sidewalk crack with a leaf. The end.

Have you tried lemon and honey tea?
Yes. Except my senses are so inhibited, I can’t taste, hear, or smell anything. Being sick is the worst. Surprise.

When you say you’ve lost your voice, does that mean you sound like a man?
Yes. I sound like a man right now. I almost want to record myself with this voice and play it back later. More to come, perhaps.

I think that covers everything anyone could possibly wonder about the incredibly important event of me being sick. You’re welcome.

That’s it! Thanks for reading! Good night! :).

LOVE,

Rachel