Dear Reader,

This is going to be real quick.

Today, like most days, I was listening to some intimidating rap on my drive to class. As I was rapping along, (possibly inserting occasional gang signs when applicable) it occurred to me that I will likely not become a professional rapper.

Not only is my voice too high / not-threatening, I also have difficulty pronouncing English words in any not-White way. But, possibly the most influential factor in this recent revelation is how monotone rappers speak, and how not-monotone I speak. During my otherwise perfectly-synced raps, the things I say are of extremely varying tones, (similar to the way I speak in real life), and not at all like the gangsters in the song.

Not that I was holding out for a career in gangster rap, but, I think I just know for sure now. I think I may also need to retire from my part-time car-rapping career soon, although that is still TBD.

That’s all. I have to go maintain my weaksauce.

LOVE,

Rachel

P.S. If I ever mention enrolling in summer school in the future, Reader, I invite you to beat me with a small-medium stick.