- 5 year old kid + 80 year old lady = me
- My retainer is made of pink glitter
- I like oil painting
- I like everything to be as bright as possible
- Sometimes, I like to wear Gangster clothes because they are baller
- Whenever I am at home, I tie / wear a headband […]

Dear Rachel,
You are a complete dumbass. Here is a summary of your day as proof:

(NOTE: All “You / Me / I”’s = Rachel)
Well, since you stepped on those headphones last week, I decided to buy another $30 set the other day. What? Where are they now? Oh that’s right, you lost them, again. Apparently, […]

Hi Reader,
I had a pretty weak day today. Here is a brief summary of what happened:
I slipped down an ice-coated hill and tripped on the steps to the College of Business. I cracked my iPhone head-set by stepping on it outside of my car. Also, I got a parking ticket at 9:10pm (when no […]