Dear Prince Fabulous,

Being that you haven’t already found your way to me yet, here is a map (list) to make this clear-cut and to expedite this (impossibly slow) process.

MAP TO RACHEL’S HEART:

1.) Send me (somewhat-meaningful) mail. Preferably fantastic gifts and trendy items of clothing? But I will take almost anything.

2.) Be a good cook, or buy me a good cook. (And someone to do the dishes. Cleaning is NOT my forte.)

3.) Recite N’SYNC lyrics back to me during everyday conversation.

4.) Be a fabulous shopping buddy. Better yet, fund my shopping?

5.) Be entertaining. Good at telling epic stories when I am bored.

6.) Have common sense. But this means nothing because everyone thinks they have common sense.

7.) Be good at listening. If you know me, you can understand why this is necessary.

8.) Take me on vay-cay to some place wonderful, so I can look > sad and pale.

9.) Help me graduate college faster. Or help me get a better GPA? Both?! OKAY.

10.) Take me on a hot-air balloon ride. YES!

So, Prince Fabulous, when you find this, please make your way to my heart ASAP by using all of the methods listed the above. That would be fantastic. See you soon!

LOVE,

Rachel