Someone asked me recently, what the difference between “wishing” and “wanting” was. I answered that:

“Wishing is waiting for something to happen to you, without doing anything. Wanting is doing something to deserve what you want.”

He added that, “Wishing is hoping, for example, that you win the lottery; you wish that Santa will bring you a present. Wanting something means that you will make sacrifices, and work, to attain what you want. Rachel, what do you want?”

I answered with something mundane, the first thing I could think of:

I want a fulfilling life, with loyal friends. I want to be a good person.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about this a lot (I would write about my entire life, Reader, about how fulfilling I’m trying to make my life; but I am just going to stick to a few short things):

I want loyal friends: Friendship is hard work. You may not know this, Reader, but to get under the Rachel Radar is very difficult, and only a handful of people have been able to do so. This being said, it is equally difficult to escape the Rachel Radar. As you may have read in a previous entry, I have a high pain-threshold to keep my friends close. I am excellent at keeping in touch; and I work hard to keep my friends around, no matter how physically far, or different they become. This keeps my life fulfilling.

What I’m trying to say, Reader, is that I do not let go of friendships without pulling until I can’t anymore. I love my friends a very great deal. So here I am, Reader. I am going to sacrifice and pull until I can get what I really want.

I wish that Lance Bass wasn’t gay. I want my best friend back.

Unfortunately, Life isn’t about getting everything you wish for; it is about getting everything you really want.

I have almost everything I really want, Reader. I am so lucky.

LOVE,

Rachel