Me: Okay Reader, So I am really angry.

Reader: “But why are you so angry Rachel?”

Me: Because, I have a best friend who keeps treating me like crap, even after they have been informed, over and over, to stop. It’s like an untrainable puppy who keeps peeing on your clothes / bed / belongings. It’s annoying and frustrating, but how can you just abandon a puppy?

Reader: “… Uh…? So… Why are you still angry? You should just give up. There are other fish in the sea, other best friends to be made. The puppy should know better than to pee on your stuff.”

Me: BUT I just have such a hard time giving up… Can’t they just stop being crappy and appreciate me? HM??? Is that too much to expect, Reader?

Reader: “Yes. If they haven’t already realized how high-level your coolness is, then they will not understand later. There are other best friends to be made out there, Rachel.”

Me: LIKE WHO?!!!? I WANT MY BEST FRIEND NOW!! Reader, can’t you just tell them to stop being so crappy?!?!

Reader: “Yes, but it won’t work. Your friend sucks.”

Me: FINE. But Reader, you are going to have to find me a new Best Friend.

Reader: “How about Vitas? The Russian Opera Rockstar? He is talented, a Rockstar, and really studly as well. Here is a sample of his Awesomeness:

Me: You’re right, Reader. This guy is a Rockstar. I think he is Best Friend material. And he is a stud. Nice work Reader. Look, even Asian people like him– SUCCESS.

Thanks Reader for such a meaningful dialogue. We will talk again soon!

LOVE,

Rachel