Today was a relatively good day… Until someone made my blood boil. I have seriously forgotten what it is like to have a wave of rage rush through me. Today, I got just pinch of what I used to endure when I dated a certain [real] douchebag– and I just blew up, remembering what it was like to be lied to, cheated on, and severely undervalued.

In the past 10 minutes, I have just pulled several memories from the closet of nightmares– and I have definitely learned my lesson. Here are some things that I have learned from having my blood boiled dry from my past experiences (and yes, the “SOMEONE” is SPECIFICALLY referring to someone in particular):

- NEVER let yourself be undervalued
- Don’t let yourself believe what you want to hear, just because you want to hear it.
- Someone who has lied to you once will lie to you again
- Someone who undervalues you is not someone you want, or need, in your life.
- Once a cheater, always a cheater (especially in the cases of relationships).
- Don’t take someone back until there is some sort of agreement, and that the agreement is fulfilled before you take them back.
- Don’t take someone back until they have actually learned to value you.

Having learned these things from my previous relationships the hard way, there is some good news:

I laughed really hard when he asked me “if we could ever get back together.” And let me tell you (this is where young children should stop reading, as I will use several potty-mouth words):

“Only someone without a brain, a heart, and the five senses would take you back after all of the ridiculous shit that you put me through. To elaborate:

- It could not be more apparent that after dealing with all of your stupid shit, anyone with a braincell in their skull would never talk to you again. It’s a no-brainer: which means that you don’t even need a brain to make this decision.

- Only someone who didn’t have an ounce of feeling (perhaps serial killers, or child molesters) could ever deal with you, AGAIN.

- Eyes: Perhaps a blind person wouldn’t know it was you they were dealing with. But that leads us to the second sense:

- Ears: Perhaps a deaf person could talk on the phone with you. And then they would never have to deal with your annoying voice and weak vocabulary. Only a blind and deaf person could ever deal with your shit the second time around, perhaps.

-Touch: Even if I were completely blind and deaf, I would probably find a way to bitch-slap you. Numb people can’t do that.

-Scent: Even if I was completely blind, deaf, and numb, I could probably smell you coming. In which case I would probably throw up.

-Taste: Okay. I can still have taste- but I sure as hell would not take you back.

You should probably use a few brain cells before you ask me to take you back, and you should take my laughing in your face to heart. You should have done everything completely differently, and you should NOT treat people like shit.

Infact, I’d personally rather be a piece of shit flushed down the toilet than date your sorry ass again.

I hope you read this and feel like a pile of shit. Because that is what I felt like every day that I dated you.”

LOVE,

Rachel

PS. For those of you who read this and are either: A.) surprised at how bitchy I am, or B.) think I am being too harsh, you are probably underestimating how much he deserves this.